BY VINCENT DE DAVID
This coronavirus is the strangest virus we have ever heard of in Kenya.
It’s very dangerous in the way it spreads. It is so mysterious the way it ONLY target schools, but then dies at quarantine centres which are within the same schools!!
It is sneaky. It can spread when buying clothes at a small shop but not at big Supermarkets.
It fears where a sausages and TWO beers are sold and can’t spread when you are buying beer.
It lives for two days on delivery boxes from Uganda and you must wait 48hrs to touch them but dies immediately on the deliveries from china.
It can’t survive on takeaway coffee cups, so enjoying a hot cup of coffee at some fancy cafes is safe.
Curiously without any research it has been said to live on church pews & hymn books but dies in political parties gatherings & parliament like in Jubilee meeting at KICC.
Sadly it is claimed to be spread by hair stylists, Pastors & priests, and dentists, but not by bank tellers, cashiers, and fast food workers.
It’s so smart. It won’t bother the first 15 people in funerals and weddings but knows when the 16th person shows up. So be careful if you are the 16th.
If you want to go to church it is very actively on the prowl and not even a mask can stop it but If you need to go to the supermarket, it is weak, and a mask will keep it away.
It also seems to be most dangerous after 9pm so businesses must start to close before the virus comes out and wreaks havoc upon the populations.
When it is found in State House or Kamukunji Police Station life continues. But if found in an apartment all MUST be quarantined! If found in Mombasa Old Town and Eastleigh, a LOCKDOWN is imposed.
WHAT an intelligent virus!!!
VINCENT DE DAVID is a Broadcast Journalist and a column writer