Before we fight each other, we must ask ourselves: does marriages work?

So many questions arise when it comes to discussions on the institution of marriage. Majority of us, especially the young are asking, do marriages work?

A young man walks us through his journey of marriage at just 21 years and its highs and lows.

EARLY LIFE

I was born in 1987 in Dandora. I’m the eldest of three siblings. We later moved to Kayole where

my siblings were born. We spent all our childhood and teenage hood in Kayole.

Life in Kayole wasn’t the best as it was as a crime-infested neighbourhood and most of my age mates were in gangs dealing drugs or thugs.

Approximately 60% of the kids I grew up with are either dead or in prison. Kayole was also a Mungiki hotspot and I still recall all these terrifying scenes of brutal attacks as I grew up.

I was fortunate to have had very strict parents. My dad in particular was a disciplinarian while my mom used to send me to ushago (upcountry) over the holidays or she would enrol me on Christian seminars that would extend for 2-3 weeks, keeping me off the streets.

Once I was back home, I didn’t have enough time to join any gangs but prepare to head to school for opening day.

I also spent quite some time our family hardware businesses during school holidays, which kept me busy.

This strategy worked, as I never really had the time to hang out with the wrong crowd.

After high school, I was scheduled to be an Anglican church minister but also had a lot of interest in animation and graphics.

COLLEGE LIFE AND ADULTHOOD

I joined Shang Tao College in 2006 and did animations, video production and graphic design. In 2007.

The job market was also saturated and it was hard to secure a descent source of income.

I did some tarmacking and would come to town knocking doors for opportunities.

When this didn’t work, I bought a small camera and became paparazzi in weddings and funerals.I would chase funerals at Chiromo, City and KU Mortuary just to know where the funeral would be and hike one of the vehicles, take photos, run to the nearest town, print and come back and hang them.

I would sell them from 50shs going as low as 15shs. On a good day I would walk away with Kshs 3,000. I also faced challenges as some clients never paid for the photos and would incur losses. At times we would be chased from the events and our photos confiscated.

I also tried a hand in selling VCDs at Simba Center in River Road and at times hired by people as a part-time driver when they needed to do errands. I didn’t have a stable income, it was ‘pata,potea’.

TRYING TO FIND LOVE

I grew up as a shy boy and I felt this made girls not take me seriously. I was not lucky in love. I had tried to meet girls but for some reason I felt I wasn’t their type.

I also had this deep feeling it had to do with my physical appearance, as I was really thin and broke as well.Honestly it was tough to get a girlfriend.

NITUMIE FARE

I remember how I once borrowed 500 Shs and took a girl out. She took half chicken and Soda while I took water. She also wanted a glass of wine, but the money wasn’t enough for both of us.

She insisted that I pay for her transport back, which I did. I never heard from her again.

MY TO BE WIFE

My life in Kayole wasn’t all gloom. My to be wife was my neighbour. We grew up in Kayole, the same neighbourhood and our parents were great friends.

We went to the same primary school and would eventually meet during high school games. Over the holidays, we would spend time at their place doing holiday assignments. At that time, there was nothing beyond but casual friendship.

We lost contact later when they moved out of Kayole.

REUNION IN A MATATU

We later bumped into each other in a Kayole matatu in 2007 where we exchanged contacts. From then on, we kept communication and would occasionally visit her. She worked in Ngara, where she sold fruit puddings.

At that time, I did not have the money to take her out as I didn’t have a stable income, but would invite her home for lunches and dinners and we would share food with my family. She was familiar with everyone at home, so it was not a big deal. I grew fond of her, as she was very kind, respectful, very well natured, mature and easy to get along with.

While I observed her over time, I knew there was something special about her. One time I gathered courage and told her I indeed liked her and wanted her to be my girlfriend.

I got a big “NO”.

To be continued in part two…….

 

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